Children's rights must take precedence over adults' desires as intentionally depriving kids of their biological mother and biological father overwhelmingly leads to profound harm for the child. That was the proposition of Katy Faust, founder of Them Before Us, a global movement defending children’s right to their mother and father, who spoke at Holy Spirit parish in Brighton last night, October 8.
“Every marriage and family issue,” said Katy, “from divorce, to same-sex parenting, to IVF, to sperm and egg donation, to the rise of cohabitation, to surrogacy, to the normalization of same-sex headed households, to ‘throuples’ on birth certificates, to the definition of parenthood, they all had something in common – they were obsessively driven by the desires, identity, and feelings of adults and children always suffered.”
Katy was welcomed to Holy Spirit parish by pastor, Father Jonathan Perrotta, and by parishioner Jason Negri of Holy Spirit’s marriage ministry, Guardians of Grace, which hosted the event.
They explained how their guest speaker founded Them Before Us in 2018 after perceiving that children were being sidelined in debates about marriage, surrogacy, divorce, and reproductive technologies.
In her talk, Katy Faust told those present that her arguments are rooted in “the Word of God, natural law, social science, and the testimony of children themselves.” She then outlined three key reasons why children have a natural right to be raised by their biological mother and biological father.
First, identity. Katy highlighted that an increasingly number of young people are suffering from a crisis of identity. “One of the main ways that kids access that identity is through the two people who gave them their identity,” she said, “It is very hard for children to answer the question, ‘who am I?’, if they cannot answer the question, ‘whose am I’?
Second, safety. Katy pointed towards research suggesting that “anytime a child is being raised by somebody who is not their own mother and father, they are exponentially more likely to be abused and neglected.” Such research, she said, puts paid to such popular aphorisms as “biology doesn't matter, love makes a family” or “if the adults are happy, the kids will be happy”.
Third, gender complementarity. Katy explained how further research highlights the distinct but complimentary roles that fathers and mothers play in child-rearing because “men and women are different, and gender is not a social construct.”
Upholding a child’s right to a mother and father isn’t always easy, she said, and requires a spirit of duty and sacrifice on the part of adults.
“It is hard, but don't pretend like there's no hard, there’s always hard,” she said, “it's just that the adults need to do ‘the hard thing’, because the alternative is for kids to do ‘the hard thing’ and that's an injustice.”
• To find out more about Them Before Us go to: https://thembeforeus.com/