“How can we even begin to understand the grief of parents who have lost a child? ‘It is as if time stops altogether: a chasm opens to engulf both past and future’, and ‘at times we even go so far as to lay the blame on God. How many people – I can understand them – get angry with God.’” Amoris Laetitia 254
These words from Pope Francis in Amoris Laetitia embody the necessity of accompanying couples who have suffered a miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss. The Diocese of Lansing recognizes the tremendous need to assist couples who are currently suffering from miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss or who have suffered from one of these losses in the past. We understand that child loss is devastating, and recent research shows that couples who suffer from miscarriage and stillbirth are more likely to divorce.
The vision for the Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss Ministry is to have a comprehensive ministry available to every woman and couple within our diocese who is currently suffering or has previously suffered one of these losses. This ministry will be able to provide active support to those currently suffering a miscarriage by providing information on the physical, mental, and emotional process of losing their baby as well as resources for obtaining the remains of their child and burying him or her. It will also serve to support all who are currently or have previously lost a child to miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss, by training ministers who can support the parents emotionally and spiritually. We further envision that this ministry will have at least one priest in each deanery trained to support couples who are suffering from one of these losses. Additionally, the ministry will find or create services, programs, and resources designed to care for and support the dignity of the unborn person, the parents individually, and within their marriage/relationship, the surviving siblings, and the family as a whole. It will seek to connect Catholics who are unafraid of sharing each other’s burdens of sorrow, assisting in corporal works of mercy, and assist in providing opportunities for a healthy healing journey physically, emotionally, and spiritually. In 2020, we started Our Little Ones, the Diocese of Lansing Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss Ministry, and served 12 couples that year.
With the help of our Catholic Marriages Initiatives Grant, we have begun the work of expanding this ministry into all parts of our diocese, and will include formal training and affiliation with Red Bird Ministries. The Office of Marriage and Family Life is currently looking for individuals for Our Little Ones Ministry who are naturally skilled in empathic listening, desire to serve those who have lost a child through miscarriage, stillbirth or infant loss, are able to set appropriate professional boundaries, and have time to dedicate to ministry activities (time will depend on the size and need of the parish/grouping). If you or someone in your parish is a good fit for this ministry, then please submit their information in this form and we will contact them for an interview.