Jonathan Smith feels very blessed. The 42-year-old, pictured above left, has been married to Lauren for 12 years. The couple, who live in Hillsdale, have six children, with another baby on the way. Deo gratias. So, where was Jonathan’s training ground for family life? Counterintuitively, perhaps, he pinpoints his four years spent training to be a priest at Sacred Heart Major Seminary in Detroit.
“It was in the seminary that I learned what love truly is, what it means to love, and how to pray,” says Jonathan, who now works for his alma mater, Hillsdale College, in conversation with David Kerr, Director of Communications for the Diocese of Lansing.
“Those two things gave me the ability to accept my vocation to marriage. They provided me with the foundations for married life, to know what love actually is and to know that it is through prayer that we always go back to the source of all things, our relationship with Christ, so that I can serve my wife and serve my children.”
Reassuringly for Jonathan, his wife agrees.
“I was thinking about that only today and was struck by the fact that a seminary assigns a young man both a formator to assist him with his human formation and a spiritual director to assist in the formation of his interior life — that’s huge!” says Lauren, who, as it happens, had been discerning religious life around the same time that Jonathan was in the seminary.
As you can see, the entire family are pictured above on the left. That's Jonathan and Lauren with children, left to right, Maximilian (9), Thomas (2) in dad’s arms, Mary Catherine (4), Patrick ( 8 ), Elijah (6), and Margaux (11)
Jonathan and Lauren knew each other to a limited degree while undergraduates at Hillsdale College. They became reacquainted at a homecoming event 10 years after graduation and, providentially, in the very same spot they had originally met a decade before. It was also a few months after Jonathan’s departure from seminary.
“So, when we met, and given that I had had similar experiences discerning religious life, I knew I was looking for a very particular type of person who shared the same expectation for marriage. That is, someone who desired an ‘apostolic marriage.’” That “someone” was Jonathan, and the couple married only seven months later.
Such stories are not uncommon. Over the past two decades, it is estimated that only about a third of all Diocese of Lansing seminarians have made it to priestly ordination.
“Seminary is not simply a place that prepares future priests,” says Father Michael Cassar, vocations director for the Diocese of Lansing. “It's a place that provides the resources and opportunity for every man who enters to grow in virtue, to develop his relationship with Christ, and to gain greater clarity on where God is directing him in life.”
Former Diocese of Lansing seminarian Nick George, pictured above right, concurs. A native of Saline, he spent seven years studying for the priesthood at both Saint John Vianney Seminary in Minnesota and Sacred Heart Major Seminary in Detroit before discerning out of seminary life in 2013.
“It’s so funny. Some of my fellow seminarians who had fully expected to discern out within a few months have now been priests for over 10 years,” says Nick.
“Meanwhile, some guys who were pretty certain of getting ordained to the priesthood — guys who had been dressing up as priests every Halloween since they were kids — are now husbands and fathers.”
The latter is true for Nick. This summer, he and wife, Rachel, will celebrate their 10th wedding anniversary in the company of their four children, three boys and one girl. They are also pictured above, on the right. That's Nick and Rachel with children, left to right, Ben (9), Luke (7), Lizzie (2) in dad’s arms, and Theo (5). The family lives in Northville near Detroit. Nick, 36, teaches theology at Detroit Catholic Central High School. So, does Mrs. George believe former seminarians make good husbands?
“I've actually told people that before, but it feels like something you should really say in hushed tones,” says Rachel, laughing. “As in you can’t exactly tell someone, ‘I encourage you to tell your daughter to look for someone who has just left the seminary.’ It’s not a good look."
“But the spiritual and human formation Nick received in seminary has been such a gift to our marriage and to our kids, especially having three boys in quick succession as we did,” adds Lauren. “In their father, they see a gentle masculinity, someone who is a giver, and someone who sees us, who sees our needs as a family.
“A lot of that is Nick’s temperament but I think a lot of it also comes from those spiritual giants, those mentors he had at seminary, men that I don’t really know, many of whom I will never know, but I’m grateful to each and all of them.”
The Diocese of Lansing currently has 29 men studying for the priesthood. Like every man, each seminarian is called to be a father. For some, that will be the ministerial priesthood. For others, not. For all, says Father Michael Cassar, the generosity manifested in embarking upon seminary life will be rewarded in both supernatural and natural ways.
“Those who end up leaving seminary before ordination do so as better men, better Christians, and with a better sense of their vocation,” concludes Father Cassar, “This can only be a blessing to a man who becomes a husband and father.”
* If you have any questions regarding vocation discernment for the priesthood or seminary formation, please feel free to contact Fr. Mike Cassar by email at mcassar@dioceseoflansing.org, or call 517-342-2507 between 8:30 a.m. and 4:30 p.m., Monday through Friday.